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Planning to phone in sick today to watch your favorite movie? Thinking of faking it to spend the whole day with your girlfriend?
Don't be surprised if your boss sends you flowers. He's not being kind. He just wants to know if you're telling the truth!
That's because the flowers you receive are most likely equipped with a spy camera, microphone and other high-tech gadgets that would put James Bond to shame. At least that's the kind you'll get from No Sympathy Inc.
This new company specializes in floral arrangements designed to catch liars in their tracks. Their security camera systems are carefully hidden in bouquets of roses, daisies, lilies, tulips and sunflowers. These cost from $100 to $10,000.
"No Sympathy Inc is an Internet company specializing in security camera systems determined to catch cough-faking employees at their worst. The twist on their product: security camera systems come in the form of sympathy flowers. Video and audio recording, digital relays, temperature taking flying robots and skin swabs are the tip of this liar-catching industry," according to Chloe McIntyre in Nonsense News.
Mind you the cameras aren't easy to detect. CEO James Black said not even Bond's faithful gadget maker Q could offer the same technology.
The company caters to organizations who want to rid their ranks of lazy employees - a menace to productivity.
"We were tired of losing so many employees to 'sick days' when we were in the crunch of needed productivity. Come on people, how often do you really get sick enough not to go to work? Toughen up and walk it off. It's called Walking Pneumonia for a reason," said an unidentified client.
To check on erring employees, clients simply ask No Sympathy Inc. to send a bunch of flowers to the suspects. The flowers are outfitted with surveillance cameras and other security systems that can detect the person's temperature, white blood cell count and other things. They are then sent to the designated address to monitor the individual.
"The flowers are delivered the house of residence listed in the employee file, unless the employee is said to be at the hospital, in which case they are delivered there. The delivery person is compassionate and trustworthy, and in charge of placing the flowers in the room for optimal viewing. From there a digital relay video feed is sent directly to the employers' computer screen for monitoring while other test results are sent to a nearby lab for subsequent delivery," McIntyre said.
Once the liar is caught, it is up to the employer to take the necessary action. So far, business has been brisk for the security company. And yes, none of their employees has phoned in sick to this day.
Don't be surprised if your boss sends you flowers. He's not being kind. He just wants to know if you're telling the truth!
That's because the flowers you receive are most likely equipped with a spy camera, microphone and other high-tech gadgets that would put James Bond to shame. At least that's the kind you'll get from No Sympathy Inc.
This new company specializes in floral arrangements designed to catch liars in their tracks. Their security camera systems are carefully hidden in bouquets of roses, daisies, lilies, tulips and sunflowers. These cost from $100 to $10,000.
"No Sympathy Inc is an Internet company specializing in security camera systems determined to catch cough-faking employees at their worst. The twist on their product: security camera systems come in the form of sympathy flowers. Video and audio recording, digital relays, temperature taking flying robots and skin swabs are the tip of this liar-catching industry," according to Chloe McIntyre in Nonsense News.
Mind you the cameras aren't easy to detect. CEO James Black said not even Bond's faithful gadget maker Q could offer the same technology.
The company caters to organizations who want to rid their ranks of lazy employees - a menace to productivity.
"We were tired of losing so many employees to 'sick days' when we were in the crunch of needed productivity. Come on people, how often do you really get sick enough not to go to work? Toughen up and walk it off. It's called Walking Pneumonia for a reason," said an unidentified client.
To check on erring employees, clients simply ask No Sympathy Inc. to send a bunch of flowers to the suspects. The flowers are outfitted with surveillance cameras and other security systems that can detect the person's temperature, white blood cell count and other things. They are then sent to the designated address to monitor the individual.
"The flowers are delivered the house of residence listed in the employee file, unless the employee is said to be at the hospital, in which case they are delivered there. The delivery person is compassionate and trustworthy, and in charge of placing the flowers in the room for optimal viewing. From there a digital relay video feed is sent directly to the employers' computer screen for monitoring while other test results are sent to a nearby lab for subsequent delivery," McIntyre said.
Once the liar is caught, it is up to the employer to take the necessary action. So far, business has been brisk for the security company. And yes, none of their employees has phoned in sick to this day.
About the Author:
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